


A Tight Squeeze

by Blizzard_Fire



Series: Science Bros Week 2019 [4]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bruce Banner is Tired, Gen, Humor, Hurt Tony Stark, Hurt/Comfort, Platonic Science Bros, Tony Stark Does What He Wants, sometimes he sticks his dick in machines
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-22
Updated: 2019-07-22
Packaged: 2020-07-08 16:49:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19872865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blizzard_Fire/pseuds/Blizzard_Fire
Summary: When Bruce had gotten the text from Tony toget your ass over to the lab ASAP,he'd been expecting to find broken test tubes, a rogue robot, maybe some fire.He hadn't expected to find Tony kneeling on the floor, pants around his ankles, with his hands clamped around his dick. 'This isn't what it looks like... okay, it's kinda what it looks like.'





	A Tight Squeeze

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the prompt "pressure" for Science Bros Week 2019. Platonic shenanigans! Or pre-slash if you choose to read it that way.

When Bruce had gotten the text from Tony to _get your ass over to the lab ASAP_ , he'd been expecting to find broken test tubes, a rogue robot, maybe some fire.

He hadn't expected to find Tony kneeling on the floor, pants around his ankles, with his hands clamped around his dick. 'You took your sweet-ass time,' he said by way of greeting.

Bruce hung back, surveying the scene. In case he was somehow hallucinating all of this. Bits of machinery were strewn over the floor, along with pages of scrawly blueprints. Nestled between Tony's legs was something that might have once been a car exhaust pipe, now upgraded with glowing lights and buttons. Judging by the way Tony kept wincing, his junk was currently wedged inside it.

Bruce folded his arms. 'Do I want to know what happened here?'

'This isn't what it looks like... okay, it's kinda what it looks like.' He looked sheepish.

'Why are you even - are you _stuck_ in there?'

'No. Maybe.'

He paced slowly around him, maintaining a wide berth. 'It's seven-thirty on a Saturday night, and you come up here, to our _communal lab,_ which wasn't locked by the way - to jerk off in some spare parts?'

'Yeah, I know. I was there.' He made an ineffectual tug at the contraption then screwed his eyes shut with a gasp. 'Bruce, buddy... I could really use a hand.'

'No. Absolutely not.' He folded his arms. 'You're my best friend Tony, but I draw the line here. Why can't Pepper do it?'

'She's out of town.' He ran a hand through his hair. 'Clint would just laugh at me, Nat would chop my dick off and Thor...' He shuddered. 'Thor can crush beer cans with one hand.'

Bruce didn't back down. 'Steve?'

'I asked him half an hour ago. He said it was my own damn fault and threatened to report me for sexual harassment.' Tony stared down at the flashing contraption in despair. His knees were red from kneeling and Bruce realised there were dried tear-tracks on his face. 'It's... really painful. I can't get out of this on my own.' And that last sentence was something Tony Stark would struggle to admit, even to himself. If he left him here, he could still be there in the morning.

Bruce took a deep breath, counted to ten, and exhaled slowly. He pulled his glasses from his pocket and slipped them on. 'JARVIS, secure the lab.'

There was a series of whirs and clicks. _'All doors are now locked, Doctor.'_

'Hey, where are you going?' Tony cried as Bruce headed for the sink.

'Hygiene,' he said simply, making a thorough job of washing his hands and wrists. 'You don't want germs down there.'

'I literally could not give less of a fuck right now _please come and help me before my dick drops off_.' Tony's voice was weak with pain.

Hands now clean, Bruce walked over and hesitantly sat down in front of him. 'Alright. What am I looking at?' Mentally steeling himself, he forced himself to properly look at Tony's crotch. His balls were squashed up against the base of the tube, his dick disappearing inside it. Tilting it gently, he could just see the tip peeking out a few centimetres from the top. 'Looks tight,' he muttered.

'Yeah, no shit.'

'But I'm not seeing any blood, which is a good sign.' He paused, noting the plus and minus buttons labelled "speed" on one side and a settings wheel on the other. 'Were you making a... sex toy?'

'What, a guy cant have hobbies?' Tony met his eyes without shame, though his voice lacked its usual challenge. 'When you spend your life using keyboards and screwdrivers and power tools, some days your wrist gets tired...'

'I really don't want to know, Tony.'

'So I was thinking, possible suit attachment for long boring flights, using the same output tube as the urinary attachment, maybe convert the resulting product into fuel for the repulsors...' He was babbling, Bruce realised, noting his pale complexion. 'Loads of applications. I'm calling it the Semen Propellant Out Of Gyrating Exothrusters.'

Bruce stared at him. 'You called it S.P.O.O.G.E.?'

'Yeah. I just miscalculated the pressure level. It constricted too tightly. Ow! Don't pull it. I made an emergency release mechanism but it's jammed shut. I need you to go in through the top. It's about halfway down but I can't reach it from this angle. There's a hinge. You just need to... detach me from it. It's pinching the uh, skin.' He gritted his teeth.

'Well, I guess I'm committed now.' It wasn't like he'd never seen another guy's dick before. He'd just never been inclined to get acquainted with one. 'If anyone asks, I know nothing about this,' he said firmly, slipping a finger into the top of the device. Unsurprisingly, Tony's dick was flaccid beyond flaccid in there. And... cold. 'How long have you been stuck like this?'

He shifted uncomfortably on his knees. 'Couple hours. The tip went numb after like the first half hour.' He held the tube steady, knuckles white. 'What's it look like? I don't wanna lose my best feature, Doctor.'

Bruce slowly slipped a finger in, immediately noticing how tight it was and worrying _he'd_ get trapped too. 'Oh god,' he muttered. 'It's - it's wet in here.'

'It's self-lubricating,' said Tony like it was obvious. 'What, you think I'm gonna go in dry? Oh, and some of it may be spooge. Actual spooge, not abbreviated.'

He leaned in for a better angle, and tried to ignore Tony's testicles in the corner of his eye. 'You owe me for this. Big time.'

'Sure thing, big guy. What do you want, island vacation? Global science museum crawl?'

'I get to pick the music in the lab. For at _least_ a week.'

He groaned. 'But you have the _worst_ taste in tunes... you listen to shit like _Mambo No. 5_ and _Agadoo._ Unironically.'

'I'm going to play _Witch Doctor_ on loop until you admit it's a lyrical masterpiece.'

'You are the worst best friend I have ever had. Owowowow! That was your goddam fingernail!' His hand shot out to grab Bruce's wrist. 'Okay, you're in the right spot... feel where it's pinching me? You need to dislodge that so the hinge can open.'

Bruce winced. There was indeed a trapped bit of skin, but he couldn't see what he was doing and he certainly couldn't get another finger in there. 'Alright, it's probably gonna sting a little, so hang in there.' He paused to reach up with his free hand and briefly squeeze Tony's shoulder. 'You're gonna be okay.' And he got to work for real, focusing all his attention on gently dislodging him. Tony's breaths grew shallower the longer he worked, still squeezing Bruce's wrist. Bruce's finger eventually slid down the length of him and freed him of the hinge, but - 'I'm not sure I can get my finger out.'

'It's okay, I think the mechanism should work now.' Gritting his teeth, Tony pressed a button on the side. The device flashed pink and started vibrating noisily. 'Wrong button!' He pressed another and it opened along a hidden seam and clattered to the floor. Bruce snatched his hand back as Tony grabbed his freed penis and curled up on the floor, groaning. 'I'm so sorry little guy, I'll never put you in a sex robot again, I promise...'

Bruce took the opportunity to quickly wash his hands again. Shame he couldn't wash away the memory. 'Are you okay?' He asked. Tony hadn't moved from his position, pants tangled around his feet. 'Come on, let's get you up.'

'My legs went numb two hours ago,' Tony complained, but with some assistance he managed to pull his clothes back on. As soon as he stood up his legs turned to jelly, so Bruce had to half-carry him over to a chair and lower him into it. 'Well, that was fun. Guess you really can't beat manual labour. I... don't think I'm going to be touching myself for a while. Ow.'

'Should I take you to medical to get it looked at?'

'And risk this getting back to Fury? I've got a reputation to uphold!' He slumped down in the chair. 'You know what I need? Mug of goddam cocoa. But with alcohol in there somewhere. He rubbed his hands together. 'That floor's colder than it looks.'

'I'll get you something,' he promised, pausing to look at the S.P.O.O.G.E. contraption. 'If you wanted to increase the pressure, why not just use some kind of inflatable lining? Hinges was a terrible idea.'

'Well, I'm in the market for a new test subject. Care to volunteer, Doctor?' Tony's eyes had recovered some of their mischievous sparkle.

'Uh, no. As you said, I think... manual labour works just fine.' He could feel himself blushing as he turned away and headed for the door.

'No need to be embarrassed, I know you're more of a grower than a shower. Hey, does it get all big and green, too? That's a mean stretch factor but we could make it work... does the Hulk ever jerk off?'

Bruce was laughing as he hurried out the door. 'Goodbye, Tony.'

He pretended not to hear Tony telling JARVIS to start a new project file.


End file.
